🎵Cliché Month: Pretty is As Pretty Does (and My Thoughts on Dolly Parton)
Long before “pretty is as pretty does” became a staple of Southern front porches and mountain wisdom, it began as an Old English proverb: “Handsome is that handsome does.” It traces back through centuries of literature, from Geoffrey Chaucer to Oliver Goldsmith, and the saying served as a timeless social check. It reminded generations that outward charm, fine clothing, and physical beauty are entirely hollow if they aren’t backed up by kindness, integrity, and good deeds.
My earliest recollections of Dolly Parton are from a 45 my mom bought us with Coat of Many Colors on side A, and Me and Little Andy on side B. We all loved side A, but my empathetic heart was drawn to the song about the sad and cold little girl and her puppy, Andy. (I’ve included the video at the bottom so you can listen along.) From there, I listened to a variety of music until I gave my life to Christ at 19, so I didn’t hear much about Dolly until she began releasing gospel music like He’s Alive backed by a full choir.
By that time, I was also paying closer attention to the lifestyles of those who portrayed Christianity in entertainment to see if they really believed in their hearts. Some things Dolly said and did made it hard for me to see her as genuine, and I wondered if she was just adding gospel music as another genre on her resumé. Of course, in all entertainment and media, there is no guarantee that what we see or hear is anything deeper than an act, so we pray for each of them with grace and know that God sees their true hearts.
A Rooted Love for Her People
On a recent trip to Pigeon Forge, we finally rode the aerial tram. Our tram operator gushed over Dolly as so much more than just a singer and actress. He talked about all she did for her community after the big fire in 2016 (a tragedy that made me cry when I saw the news reports), and about her project to get books into the hands of every kid in her home state of Tennessee. He even said something along the lines of “No one better ever come here and say anything bad about our Dolly!”
I really hadn’t known much about her philanthropy until then, but now, as the world mourns her passing and celebrates her life, the tributes are everywhere. Time and again, they show how Dolly never outgrew her deep sense of home or her love for the mountains where she grew up. For example, after the wildfires swept through Sevier County in 2016, she didn’t offer empty platitudes from afar. Through the “My People Fund,” she delivered no-strings-attached monthly checks to hundreds of families (900+) who lost everything, helping her neighbors rebuild from the ashes up. And when there was money at the end, she divided it among them with an extra $5,000 each.
A Legacy Written in Millions of Books
Her philanthropy was always driven by personal empathy. Dolly founded the Imagination Library in 1995 to honor her father—a hardworking man who never had the chance to learn to read. What started as a local initiative in East Tennessee has now become a worldwide literacy project that’s placed hundreds of millions of books directly into children’s hands to inspire their love of learning, completely free of charge.
A Sparkling Personality
In a culture obsessed with appearances, Dolly Parton spent her life proving that old cliché with her own inner beauty. Growing up one of 12 children in the rural mountains of East Tennessee, she learned the stinging pain of superficial judgment from those who had more than she had. When her mother lovingly stitched her a winter coat out of discarded fabric scraps—the true story that inspired Coat of Many Colors—schoolyard classmates ridiculed and bullied her for wearing rags. Rather than growing bitter, Dolly realized a profound truth: worth is never defined by a price tag, and true riches come from the heart. She decided early on that she would sparkle in her behavior first, and the rhinestones and sky-high wigs became a joyful outward celebration of a heart that was already overflowing with love.
Her approach mirrors the wisdom found in 1 Peter:
1 Peter 3:3-4 World English Bible
[3] Let your beauty come not from the outward adorning of braiding your hair, and of wearing gold ornaments or of putting on fine clothing, [4] but from the hidden person of the heart, in the incorruptible adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight.
1 Peter 3:3-4 (WEBUS)
But wait… Didn’t Dolly do exactly all that outward adornment? She did, but from what I’m learning, it was secondary to her drive to truly shine from the inside out. In one interview, she said she never felt pretty, so all the decoration was playful compensation for that. And if Scripture isn’t saying we must forego outward beauty, maybe it’s okay if it’s in balance, secondary to what’s on the inside. Dolly seemed to understand that flashy costumes and outward fashion fade, but a soul anchored in love, empathy, and active generosity carries eternal weight.
Hope and Grace
I hope it’s right to think of her as now being in The Lord’s presence. I pray that the generosity and empathy we witnessed were tiny compared to the love in her heart for her Creator. And I hope that anything she said that didn’t line up with Scripture was said or done unintentionally and is fully covered under the abundant mercy and grace of God.
Like the uplifting flutter of the song Love Is Like a Butterfly, Dolly’s life was a masterclass in spreading color, light, and genuine care wherever she went. She elevated the old proverb into an art form—never dimming her iconic sparkle. True beauty is never only skin-deep; it is measured fully by the record of love and grace you leave behind.
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🎵Cliché Month: Stop and Smell the Roses 🌹
It seems like everything is a rush and a hurry these days. The chaos of trying to do all, be all, and have all keeps us striving on a regular basis. But does it bring the results we truly long for, like contentment and peace and happiness? And if not, how do we get there?
I think taking a detour that leads to someplace beautiful could be a great start.
Where Did “Stop and Smell the Roses” Come From?
While the sentiment feels timeless and like we’ve been hearing it forever, this modern idiom is often traced—not so far back—to professional golfer Walter Hagen. In his 1956 autobiography, The Walter Hagen Story, he wrote a famous piece of advice: “You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry. Don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.”
I guess many people’s favorite flowers are roses, so over the decades, popular culture refined “the flowers” into “the roses.” Eventually, it turned into a universal shorthand for slowing down to appreciate the blessing of the present and whatever is going on in the moment. Even though my favorite flower is the carnation, somehow Stop and smell the carnations doesn’t have the same ring to it. 😉
It’s a Blessing to Focus on What Matters
When the pace of life becomes overwhelming, stopping isn’t just about freezing in place; it is an intentional act of redirecting our thoughts toward sensing all the goodness around us. Thinking, seeing, hearing, touching, and smelling all take just enough time to help us focus on the moment. King David needed a break like this during his time of exile:
Psalm 143:5-6 BSB
[5] I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I consider the work of Your hands. [6] I stretch out my hands to You; my soul thirsts for You like a parched land. Selah
https://bible.com/bible/3034/psa.143.5-6.BSB
Taking that mental detour allows us to shift our gaze from the chaos of our schedules to the steady faithfulness of our Almighty Creator.
Releasing the Worry of the Rush
Much of our rushing is driven by the anxious belief that if we don’t hold everything together ourselves, things will fall apart. Anxiety isn’t just a topic on commercials advertising some new pharmaceutical relief; it’s a very real part of many lives. Even Christians with all the reasons in life to be at peace often struggle.
I don’t think I’ve shared yet about my diagnosis of severe PTSD (found when I was tested for Adult ADHD), but it has had effects on my health and in getting things done more than once. At the same time, I feel that God has given me experiences to recall and meditate on to bring balance. One of those was a trip to Niagara Falls almost 30 years ago. And it’s a story about the falls themselves that builds my peace and trust in The Lord.
Niagara Falls Erosion and Geology tells about the cracks that led to a couple major collapses at the American Falls with the major one in 1954 taking chunks of the viewing platform and railings at Prospect Point.
On my visit, I heard the story, so when I looked over the edges and saw the piled chunks of cement with pieces of the old railings sticking out, it made it very real for me. What makes it have balance is knowing how the falls became so much stronger as that collapse leaned against the crestline of the American Falls that still stands firm. And not only strength, but white water beauty was added to the scene as well.
Jesus reminds us that He is The One who governs our lives and plans to bring strength and beauty from them as well. And He gives us reason to lean into Him instead of collapsing into worry and grasping with white knuckles a railing that may not promise the safety we seek. He says…
Luke 12:25-27 BSB
[25] Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? [26] So if you cannot do such a small thing, why do you worry about the rest? [27] Consider how the lilies grow: They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory was adorned like one of these.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/luk.12.25-27.BSB
If God clothes the delicate petals of a bloom with such care, we can safely pause our striving and trust Him with our days and our moments—and with our whole lives.
An Invitation to Rest in YahShua
Ultimately, pausing to notice beauty clears away the mental clutter at least long enough to hear our Savior speak. He speaks most in His written Word, so while you’re stopped to sense the blessings around you, pick up a Bible and find great and precious promises to give you new strength:
Matthew 11:28 BSB
[28] Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/mat.11.28.BSB
Whether it is literally taking a beat to stop and breathe deeply while you walk in a garden, or simply turning your heart toward quiet gratitude in the middle of a busy week, don’t forget to take a pause today. What is one small, beautiful thing you can stop and appreciate right now?
Something I appreciate is really good song lyrics. This song by Hillary Scott & The Scott Family came from a cave-in (loss of a baby by miscarriage) in her own life. May the lyrics speak to you, readers, as you need them.
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Prompt Response: You Make the Lemonade
What’s the best advice you’d give to someone younger than you?
Sometimes, I think people have the idea that getting lemonade from the lemons in life simply means looking for the good in the bad. That’s my specialty. I’m often very good at finding even a thread of hope or promise within a terrible situation.
But what if it’s more than just looking for the thread? What if we learn from a young age to actually be the one responsible for adding just the right amount of sweetness to turn a sour moment into something more palatable to help us survive it. And maybe more than survive it, thrive from it because just sugar or honey in a glass by itself isn’t refreshing at all.
So learn your tastes. Figure out which sweetener is the best to your many tastebuds. Maybe you prefer honey or agave, or you need a sugar-free additive like Stevia leaf. Maybe you’ve even learned that the juice of one orange to about 5 lemons makes a lovely mix of flavor and color in a tall glass of summer refreshment.
In life, even if you’ve grown up as a survivor from a dysfunctional home, you cannot see the future and exactly which lemons might come your way. So get a recipe ready for dealing with the bumps and potholes no matter what they are. The first part of the recipe will always be looking for the golden thread of hope or peace to hang onto until you can get to the sugar jar. And I believe the strongest golden thread is the voice of our Creator as He speaks to us from His Word.
Take Romans 8:28 for instance…
Romans 8:28 BSB
[28] And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/rom.8.28.BSB
Notice it doesn’t say all things (or all lemons) are good, nor does it say we should just give up and wait for them to turn good. It says they will work together for the good. And here’s an interesting factoid: the Greek word used for “work together” in the verse is synergeo—where we get our word “synergy.” That implies partnership, cooperation, and an active blending of ingredients.
And remember this: you are not alone. Whether you are young or carry a bit more experience, your Master Creator is already in the kitchen with you ready to help you with your lemonade mixture. He will provide the ingredients for the golden thread and the sweetness, just like He provides oranges and sugar cane for real food and beverage recipes.
King David learned this, and even though he dealt with many bitter things in life, he ultimately proclaimed:
Psalm 34:8 BSB
[8] Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
https://bible.com/bible/3034/psa.34.8.BSB
And later in this same chapter...
Psalm 34:19 BSB
[19] Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him from them all.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/psa.34.19.BSB
Note: Compliments to Google Gemini as my collaborator and for giving me the info on the Greek in Romans 8:28. It fit perfectly with the direction for this post.
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🎵Looking for Love—And a Father
In my last post, I shared the beautiful memory of my birth father—the man who tattooed my name on his arm as a mark of his love for me. But human stories are rarely simple. Sometime shortly after my fifth birthday, he was gone. And a little girl was left wondering: Why did he leave? What did I do wrong?
When your hero leaves, that important space is left empty. A lifelong search begins looking to replace everything that’s missing. Love; a father; protection; a new hero. If you don’t know what a father’s protective love actually looks like, you start looking for it everywhere and in everything.
In the years that followed, my mom made great efforts to replace what my little sister and I were missing. Men came and men went, many who tried to play “Daddy.” While some of them worked hard to live up to the name in their own fractured ways, darkness, addiction, and brokenness sometimes invaded those dynamics. Instead of finding safety, boundaries were broken that love should never have crossed.
When the very people who are supposed to protect you become the source of your wounds, the marks left behind may be invisible from the outside, but they are there nonetheless. These are not marks of love like a tattoo; they are stains of shame you feel the whole world can see on you. And those marks breed a quiet, devastating conclusion: If earthly fathers brought pain and abandonment, how could I ever trust an unseen Heavenly one to love me and stay in my life?
The “Foster Child” Mentality
By the time I was a teenager, I was looking for love—and a father—in all the wrong places, learning all too well how to live with a victim mentality. But God is a master of rescue. Years later, after I began walking with Him, He began the work of healing those old, deep wounds. Eventually, I was even able to find a place of reconciliation and peace with those in my past who had hurt me.
Yet, as wonderful as the healing was, a quiet barrier remained around my heart. Not having a solid and safe father figure while growing up left me entirely unequipped to comprehend God as a “Father,” especially as my Father.
I read the Scriptures about the “Spirit of Adoption” bringing us into God’s family, but in my heart, I still felt like an outsider. To me, God felt like the world’s best, safest “foster parent.” I knew He cared for me, but how could I accept Him as a true Father when I didn’t even know what that word meant? I wanted to be a real child of God, not just someone pulling up an awkward chair at a mixed family table.
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🎵 Daddy Can Never Forget Me
Yes, that’s my name. No, that’s not my dad. Lol 🤣 I looked everywhere for the old photo I had of my dad with a small group of soldiers in Vietnam, but I couldn’t find it. So, I decided to have Wombo recreate it for me. My dad did have my name tattooed on his arm since I was his firstborn, and years later, that ink inspired a song.
While I can’t find the exact words for the song right now—I have a feeling it’s only on paper in one of my many notebooks— I still remember the heart of it. It’s about how no matter how far away my dad went, even getting married and having other children, that tattoo meant he could never totally forget me. Even if he’d had the tattoo removed, the remaining scar would always remind him of the name that used to be there.
There’s a beautiful Scripture about God’s hands where the exact same rule applies. I’ve used bold and italics to highlight the part of the verse I’m referring to.
Isaiah 49:15-16 BSB
[15] “Can a woman forget her nursing child, or lack compassion for the son of her womb? Even if she could forget, I will not forget you!
[16] Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; your walls are ever before Me.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/isa.49.15-16.BSB
As my song continues, I mention how God also has a tattoo right in the palm of His hand, and that, just like my daddy, Jesus can never forget me. Years ago, when my dad read those lyrics when he was running from The Lord, he told me it brought him to tears.
Dear reader, maybe you are like so many this Father’s Day (including me) where your human father has left this Earth. This year, I’m without my birth father and my stepfather, and others (like a grandfather) who were fatherly toward me.
But that is because this life is temporary. It will always lack the things that would make life “perfect,” but it will never lack The most Perfect Savior and Friend we could ever have. That Perfect Savior let nails pierce right through where our names are written, shedding His perfect blood for us. And because of those scars, He can never forget us.
Here is a beautiful chain of promises from the Scriptures reminding us of that truth—from The Torah, through the Psalms, to the words of YahShua, and into the epistles:
Deuteronomy 31:6 BSB
[6] Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid or terrified of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”
https://bible.com/bible/3034/deu.31.6.BSB
Psalm 37:25 BSB
[25] I once was young and now am old, yet never have I seen the righteous abandoned or their children begging for bread.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/psa.37.25.BSB
Matthew 28:20 BSB
[20] and teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
https://bible.com/bible/3034/mat.28.20.BSB
Hebrews 13:5 BSB
[5] Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, for God has said: “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.”
https://bible.com/bible/3034/heb.13.5.BSB
I’ll wrap this up with two beautiful songs I found. The first is directly inspired by Isaiah 49:16, titled “Engraved on Your Hands.” It features gorgeous video scenes, rich lyrics, and beautiful moments sung in Hebrew (with both Hebrew and English subtitles).
This second one has amazingly moving lyrics paired with beautiful beach imagery. (It may be AI generated, as I couldn’t locate specific vocalist info, but the message is timeless):
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Blog Break: Sharing Some Pictures
by Crystal A Murray (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0)
A very long day that ended with a visit to a medical provider for a UTI and antibiotics means I must simply share some nice photos and then go to sleep quickly. I’m thankful I got my first dose by a shot to start healing faster. And I’ll know tomorrow how much the muscle will hurt since they pack the medicine in that way (have not experienced this before), but the advice was to drink lots of water and move a lot. I spent time walking on the treadmill as soon as I got home, and it eased the pain tremendously already.
Now, enjoy some beautiful rainbow images I captured with my Olympus camera some years ago. I had 4 all together, so I made a collage of 3 with the 4th as a background.
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Prompt Response: Faith is the Answer
How do you handle fear and self-doubt?
I’m not sure where I learned the two acronyms in the image above, but I know they weren’t together when I learned them. The idea of the first part is to see fear as nothing to fear. But, in truth, sometimes it really is something that can harm us or those we love, and being in fear is the normal response we need to activate our “fight or flight” response.
Whether it’s a real, worthy of fighting or evasive maneuvers, fear, or the weight of tossing our troubles around in our minds until they harm us whether they come to fruition or not, FAITH is still an answer. Faith may give you the wisdom you need for a proper fight or the direction to run for a good getaway. Or, faith may just tell you to stand your ground and be still because the battle belongs to The Lord. The hardest and easiest part is when faith tells you that nothing will change but that nothing changing also means God is still on His throne taking care of what we can’t control and of our eternity.
On that last part, I can tell you honestly that the idea of losing anyone I love and care for from this Earth is hard. Thinking of my own passage into eternity is hard. And I need statements like the one above to remind me that God’s got it all in His hands.
Still, it’s totally human to fear and doubt. In Psalm 56:3, King David didn’t say he would not fear but rather …
Psalm 56:3 BSB
[3] When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/psa.56.3.BSB
Though, once he acknowledged that he could be afraid, he strengthened himself in The Lord and went on in verse 4 to say …
Psalm 56:4 BSB
[4] In God, whose word I praise — in God I trust. I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
https://bible.com/bible/3034/psa.56.4.BSB
When the roots of our fears and doubts are of our own making, they can harm us at least as much as real dangers. Recently, I spent an entire night with my lessons, blog, and sleep all negatively affected because I feared an unknown scenario where I’d received a subpoena. Not being a person who likes to defend myself even when I know I’m innocent, that postal note on a certified letter let my mind wander to many possible scenarios. The next day, I thought of better possibilities (like an old family parcel with water rights finally becoming worth something), but oh how the wandering mind can torture us until we know the truth. And at the end, not one thing I imagined matched the real reason for the letter.
So, did I put those weights of the world on a tray and hand them over to The Lord? Unfortunately, not. And He might have been extending His arms, ready to take over, the whole time. As many times as I’ve written about fear and shared miraculous testimonies, wouldn’t you think I’d know better by now? But alas, I am human and have a lot of experience that has set me up for fear and doubt—probably like everyone who reads this post.
I hope that sharing this helps someone to get through a fearful event or time a little more easily, even if it’s because you now know you’re not alone in being a person who loves and trusts God but still gives in to your fears at times. And I hope creating a visual of someone passing the weight of the world to the waiting hands of God will stay with me (and you) for the next time fear becomes a battle.
I wrote the poem below for my sister in 2015 as we both maneuvered life after losing our mom. You can find it to download in its largest size on my Flickr page at https://flic.kr/p/ybqdqj where I’ve listed a regular copyright but am happy to let people use it for personal and non-commercial purposes. Since I’ve placed it on items for sale at Zazzle, I must protect my copyright to make sure no one comes and says I took it from them, but I’m a big believer in freely I have received, so freely I will give.
(Both the image and words are by Crystal A Murray © 2015)
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Creativity Day
I had a bit of a stressful day today, and I have a really busy day planned for tomorrow, so I decided that tonight was a great night to just do some picture playing while my phones charged before sleep. No deep words of wisdom other than to remind you (and myself) that God’s Word promises us that He will work everything for the good for those who love Him and are the called according to His purposes. To be able to work everything to the good means He is with us in those everything moments. So this is me trying to release any and all fears, anxieties, and issues with my battles with low self-esteem (though I know God sees me better than I see myself, so that helps), into His hands. I’m sure my readers have had their hard days and battles as well, so as I pray for those who visit my writings, I’m also grateful for those who take me to the throne when I’m not as strong as I’d like to be. Thank you with my whole heart. 🙏
Romans 8:28 BSB
[28] And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/rom.8.28.BSB
Philippians 4:6 BSB
[6] Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/php.4.6.BSB
Proverbs 19:21 BSB
[21] Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the purpose of the Lord will prevail.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/pro.19.21.BSB
And now, more pictures…
Good night and Shalom! 🕊️
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🎵 The Clock on God’s Wall
Anyone who read yesterday’s post to the end where I talk about my stepdad being in ICU without a DNR probably expected a goodbye post to follow soon. And you’re correct. But oh how perfectly God directs the timing even of the hard things. We can trust the clock on God’s wall.
I waited for a bit today to see if I got any phone calls; did my daily Bible study and other routines, made a cup of coffee, etc. I got out my phone to make the call to the hospital ICU for an update, and then realized I should finish the task I was on so it wouldn’t make noise during my call. The wait delayed my call for about 5-10 minutes. When I got the palliative nurse on the line, she gave me the news that his heart had stopped in the past 5-10 minutes.
I don’t consider things like that to be coincidences. I see them as a piece of timing that God orchestrated perfectly and nudged me into. He knew the difference it would make if I were talking to the nurse when the monitors began to signal my dad’s final moments. But by hearing it in the past tense, I was able to feel the jolt of sadness but also the peace of knowing he was in God’s hands already. Bittersweet is a good adjective for that. So, while I mourn a bit on this Earth, I can also rejoice that we have such a loving and personal Lord and Savior to plan for our needs and carry them out in just the right timing.
I tried a bunch of pictures with Wombo, and they just weren’t working, so I asked Gemini to better interpret what I was trying to say. I think the image is amazing, and because I did no personal editing or framing on it, it’s public domain for anyone else who might want to use it. I did not ask for the Scripture, so that was an extra nice touch. Here are those verses from Ecclesiastes 3…
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 BSB
[1] To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: [2] a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, [3] a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build, [4] a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, [5] a time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, [6] a time to search and a time to count as lost, a time to keep and a time to discard, [7] a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, [8] a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/ecc.3.1-8.BSB
And one more verse that seems fitting…
2 Corinthians 1:4 BSB
[4] who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/2co.1.4.BSB
I’ll close this out with a beautiful and fitting song by Casting Crowns…
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