The Worst Best Gifts
I looked through my draft folder and found one of my oldest unpublished posts. And guess what? It’s probably worth 3-4 posts with all the subjects I tried to include. Granted, when looking through all the gifts in life that come with a healthy dose of responsibility, the list can get pretty long. So, I grabbed the first few paragraphs to share a little part of myself and the way my mind and heart functions.
So, ignorance is bliss according to some. Of course, I can admit it would certainly be more blissful to die instantly in your sleep than to run in terror because you hear a missile screaming toward your bedroom. I guess that’s why so many choose to dwell in an almost-constant state of ignorance—because they desire an almost-constant state of bliss.
Then there are people like me. With gifts of empathy, perspective, and discernment, I’ve noticed many details of my surroundings (and been concerned about the world around me) since as young as I can remember. My aunt used to take me to the lunchroom at the old JC Penny’s where she worked. Though only about 5 years old, on one lunch visit, I offered to share my meal with an employee sitting across from us who wasn’t eating. I was too young to consider why he wasn’t eating, but I couldn’t help being concerned that he might be hungry, so sharing seemed the natural response to that.
For the most part, I have never been able to look at a perceived need in someone’s life without it affecting me emotionally. It’s why I’m desperate to try and fix things even when they’re not my responsibility. It’s a way to deal with the pain of the brokenness I see and feel around me—and within me because of my deep empathetic emotions. That is quite the opposite of ignorance, and it is often the opposite of bliss. It is so opposite that I once asked God to make me less sensitive, so I wouldn’t feel so much hurt, but God made me aware of the total cost for that request. It would require me to be less sensitive to good emotions as well. I chose to endure the pain of sensitivity in order to keep the blessings.
I’ve learned that sensitivity is one of God’s gifts to me, and I cherish it even when it makes me feel worse than I would like. I found a description of how I felt in an article originally published at Squidoo, now owned by Hub Pages. It’s still there and titled The Empath Within — Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? Though it hasn’t been updated since 2013 and has a lot more ads now, it’s a great read even though not written from a Christian perspective. And it cleared up so much of what concerned me that generated the prayer I’d offered. The best part is the list of traits shared by highly sensitive people. Here are a few of them:
The empathic person:
Is emotionally sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others.
Is rarely concerned with their own achievements, a quiet leader.Has little trouble discussing emotional issues.
Is uncomfortable around disharmonious or emotionally intense people.
It’s a long list, and if you think you may fall into this category, it’s worth reading all the characteristics. The author concludes with a warning to protect your emotions by being careful who you spend time with since some people can exhaust you from a constant stream of negativity. And that’s where the beautiful gift of empathy can begin to feel like it’s not a gift at all. Like Monk (“the defective detective”) used to say, “It’s a gift — and a curse.” I don’t say it’s a curse, but there are people who can drag me down to a point where I think it’s what I’m feeling until I manage to get away from the source and realize it was all coming from them. Thankfully though, there are also people who can lift me up and energize me just from a few minutes with them. God knows how to give us balance.
I’ll close with a note about one of the first books I made an effort to write from a short story I’d written. It was called “The Blind Man’s Desire” and it was about a girl who rode a city bus with a blind man every day. She told him she wished she was blind like him, so she wouldn’t have to see all the awful things in the world. By the time he explained all the good things he missed and wished he could see, she changed her desires and found a lot of good to describe for him to see through her eyes. I guess God was teaching me that lesson long before that prayer.
1 Peter 3:8 BSB
[8] Finally, all of you, be like-minded and sympathetic, love as brothers, be tenderhearted and humble.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/1pe.3.8.BSB
Romans 12:15 BSB
[15] Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/rom.12.15.BSB
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Prompt Response: More Input
How do you stay motivated when learning something new?
Being motivated to learn has never really been my issue. I’m very much like Johnny 5 (the later Short Circuit movies) in always wanting more input. I am far more interested in learning a variety of information than in perfecting any one avenue, so that’s where my motivation might fall off somewhat.
I started learning Spanish as a means of brain growth, but lack of having anyone to practice speaking to, and wrestling with technical changes they keep making at Duolingo, made it hard to want to keep trying. But, I keep going back to keep my streak (1425+ days now), so they know what works there. But they can’t seem to give me conversations with Lily (the AI that does “phone calls” with students) where the topics are simple enough and the speech is slow enough. And they want me to gain my quest points with those calls, so I switched to learning Esperanto. And, actually, that’s a fun language to study if for no other reason than the word for doing is fartas. Lol 😂 (”How are you doing’?” is “Kiel vi fartas?” in Esperanto.)
Of course, they also have music 🎶 and math ➗ and other languages I won’t likely need (like Klingon). But I did add Hebrew because I thought it might help with Bible study. The motivation is tough on that one for a few reasons, including not being biblical Hebrew (with some light slang even) and not spelling things out phonetically until I can retain them. For me, it is harder to stay motivated when the learning has too many hurdles. That made me download some other programs/apps like Memrise, Drops, and FluentU. I’ll probably switch mostly to that last one instead of renewing Duo because of the integration into YouTube. While anyone can switch their closed-captions to Spanish to help with language, FluentU allows me to click on words as they are displayed and add them to my library of words to study.
At the same time, I’m always trying to learn new tech stuff. And learning to work with AI through Gemini and Copilot helps me learn more things and then save them to notebooks to review later. With Gemini, I learned how to program a smart thermostat and got recipes for homemade mayo (using an immersion blender) and homemade gazpacho (using a regular blender). But I’ve yet to try the recipes. Still, I’m truly motivated to learn more than I actually have time in a day to do. I’m thankful for all I have been able to learn about kidney diets and dialysis for my hubby, though, so sometimes the drive for more input isn’t such a bad thing.
Truly, I could stay on this subject for days and tell you all what I learned when I was an actress for a few months, a model as a teenager, and a plug-board telephone operator (answering service) for years. But I’d likely wear most readers out with my small bits of knowledge on a vast amount of subjects. This may never have proved to be great for a career path, but in retirement, it’s good for being a writer, and it’s great for finding common ground with many people, so I can meaningfully share the gospel in ways they can understand.
Before I wrote all this, I would have said I needed to let go of some of the less important learning paths and get motivated to push to the end of a few major subjects. But now, I’m thinking this variety in my brain might be exactly what I need. Now if I could just pull the thread that would let me get writer’s meeting plans and announcements done in a more timely manner, I’d feel even better about all I learn to share with others. Until then, I will seek to apply more of the input God has graciously allowed me to retain, and I will work on being like The Apostle Paul in these verses…
1 Corinthians 9:19-23 BSB
[19] Though I am free of obligation to anyone, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. [20] To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), to win those under the law. [21] To those without the law I became like one without the law (though I am not outside the law of God but am under the law of Christ), to win those without the law. [22] To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. [23] I do all this for the sake of the gospel, so that I may share in its blessings.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/1co.9.19-23.BSB
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