Prompt Response: Why Empathy is Important
with help from Gemini Nano Banana and Photo Studio Pro
What’s the most underrated life skill?
Thinking of Others
Thinking of others, caring for others, loving others, and understanding others are all very important life skills. But, sadly, each of them can be performed without having the genuine skill of empathy as a guide.
A person might feed someone because it makes them feel good to share, or they might feed them because they have personal experience with hunger and don’t want someone else to go through it. Or they might march for a cause because they belong to a group that supports it but not because they have real-world experience with the issue.
Learning to Understand
When I sit in a regular height chair, my feet will not reach the floor except maybe my toes. Two things happen then: a hard seat will push into the backs of my legs and cause pain, or the sciatic nerve that runs from my hip down to my knee will pull and create days of pain. So I’m always saying to my husband, “You normal height people have no clue what it’s like to live in a world that’s not built for short people.” Before knowing me, he might never have even thought about why some people carry cushions with them everywhere they go. Now, because of experience, his empathy developed.
Natural Empathy
There are some people who have more of a natural empathy skill, just like people who are naturally gifted artists. Those people can think of what someone else is going through without their issues having ever been part of their life experience. If their empathy makes them feel things like they are experiencing it with the person their heart is moved for, they’ve gone past being empathetic and into being empathic. But for most people, empathy comes along and asks them to get on board, and they either accept it or reject it. If they accept it, it’s a skill they can learn and even improve on with time.
Genuine Empathy is an Extremely Important Skill
So why would I say it’s one of the most underrated skills? Simply because it is a driver of many other skills. It drives people to stop what they are doing for themselves and pay attention to someone else’s needs. It drives people to dig into their savings to collect for someone’s provisions. It stirs up a what if that were me or my family or friends kind of vibe that drives a person to step up and do their part to remedy a problem. Without real empathy to drive helpful behaviors, good deeds can cause distress and lead to those scenarios where a person says, “I was only trying to help.”
Don’t Stop Helping
Even if you do not have natural empathy, and even if your efforts to help have sometimes created a problem, don’t stop being helpful. That’s its own wonderful skill. And those who get offended by someone’s effort to help that isn’t exactly what they would’ve wanted need their own empathetic skills, so they don’t hurt a person with a tender and helpful heart. But, it’s a good idea to examine both your motivations and your understanding to see if you can learn ways to improve your helpfulness.
The Best Example of Empathy Ever Given
YahShua (Jesus) once dwelt in heavenly places far above humanity. The Scriptures tell us that He left His throne on high to dwell as one of us and become able to share the human experience.
“Who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death — even death on a cross.”
He became our High Priest both to counsel and to sacrifice.
“Now since the children have flesh and blood, He too shared in their humanity, so that by His death He might destroy him who holds the power of death, that is, the devil.
For this reason He had to be made like His brothers in every way, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, in order to make atonement for the sins of the people.”
And He told the disciples that the greatest love anyone could ever have was to lay down their own life for a friend.
“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”
The Life Skill of Genuine Empathy is Rooted in Real Love
It’s not always easy to think of others. The voices all around us remind us how much we risk if we think of others. “You might catch something.” “They may not be grateful.” “You better ask first.” The division and lack of unity created by living our lives on screens and in fear don’t help us to love others or even think of them without counting our own costs first. A scenario where some government organization fines groups giving out sandwiches to hurricane victims because they didn’t get a health license first makes people hold back on empathy and love for fear of getting in trouble.
But if we see these things, we can change these things. And we need to change them for future generations to prevent the divide from growing any wider. Many children are naturally empathetic, and that needs to be nurtured in them as much as possible. It’s okay to tell them they are talented or special, but not at the expense of them believing they are more special than everyone else. They MUST be taught to see through the eyes of others outside themselves.
It hurts me deeply when I see videos of a group of teens attacking an elderly person. I mean, any innocent victim being attacked and beaten is not okay, but knowing how brittle and sensitive someone gets with age makes those attacks seem that much more brutal. 🥺 If we teach the youth about the frailties of age, AND we teach them to love their neighbor, they shouldn’t be able to carry out those attacks without any thoughts of how the victims feel.
WWJD
Do you remember when those 4 letters were all the rage and becoming emblazoned on everything? That was a real effort to create real empathy by thinking what it would be like from inside the heart of Jesus and how He thought of the hearts of people with whom He interacted. I think it’s time to boost this life skill back up to the top again.
And this seems like a perfect place to share my scrolling poem called “Beyond the Mirror” again.
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The Worst Best Gifts
I looked through my draft folder and found one of my oldest unpublished posts. And guess what? It’s probably worth 3-4 posts with all the subjects I tried to include. Granted, when looking through all the gifts in life that come with a healthy dose of responsibility, the list can get pretty long. So, I grabbed the first few paragraphs to share a little part of myself and the way my mind and heart functions.
So, ignorance is bliss according to some. Of course, I can admit it would certainly be more blissful to die instantly in your sleep than to run in terror because you hear a missile screaming toward your bedroom. I guess that’s why so many choose to dwell in an almost-constant state of ignorance—because they desire an almost-constant state of bliss.
Then there are people like me. With gifts of empathy, perspective, and discernment, I’ve noticed many details of my surroundings (and been concerned about the world around me) since as young as I can remember. My aunt used to take me to the lunchroom at the old JC Penny’s where she worked. Though only about 5 years old, on one lunch visit, I offered to share my meal with an employee sitting across from us who wasn’t eating. I was too young to consider why he wasn’t eating, but I couldn’t help being concerned that he might be hungry, so sharing seemed the natural response to that.
For the most part, I have never been able to look at a perceived need in someone’s life without it affecting me emotionally. It’s why I’m desperate to try and fix things even when they’re not my responsibility. It’s a way to deal with the pain of the brokenness I see and feel around me—and within me because of my deep empathetic emotions. That is quite the opposite of ignorance, and it is often the opposite of bliss. It is so opposite that I once asked God to make me less sensitive, so I wouldn’t feel so much hurt, but God made me aware of the total cost for that request. It would require me to be less sensitive to good emotions as well. I chose to endure the pain of sensitivity in order to keep the blessings.
I’ve learned that sensitivity is one of God’s gifts to me, and I cherish it even when it makes me feel worse than I would like. I found a description of how I felt in an article originally published at Squidoo, now owned by Hub Pages. It’s still there and titled The Empath Within — Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? Though it hasn’t been updated since 2013 and has a lot more ads now, it’s a great read even though not written from a Christian perspective. And it cleared up so much of what concerned me that generated the prayer I’d offered. The best part is the list of traits shared by highly sensitive people. Here are a few of them:
The empathic person:
Is emotionally sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others.
Is rarely concerned with their own achievements, a quiet leader.Has little trouble discussing emotional issues.
Is uncomfortable around disharmonious or emotionally intense people.
It’s a long list, and if you think you may fall into this category, it’s worth reading all the characteristics. The author concludes with a warning to protect your emotions by being careful who you spend time with since some people can exhaust you from a constant stream of negativity. And that’s where the beautiful gift of empathy can begin to feel like it’s not a gift at all. Like Monk (“the defective detective”) used to say, “It’s a gift — and a curse.” I don’t say it’s a curse, but there are people who can drag me down to a point where I think it’s what I’m feeling until I manage to get away from the source and realize it was all coming from them. Thankfully though, there are also people who can lift me up and energize me just from a few minutes with them. God knows how to give us balance.
I’ll close with a note about one of the first books I made an effort to write from a short story I’d written. It was called “The Blind Man’s Desire” and it was about a girl who rode a city bus with a blind man every day. She told him she wished she was blind like him, so she wouldn’t have to see all the awful things in the world. By the time he explained all the good things he missed and wished he could see, she changed her desires and found a lot of good to describe for him to see through her eyes. I guess God was teaching me that lesson long before that prayer.
1 Peter 3:8 BSB
[8] Finally, all of you, be like-minded and sympathetic, love as brothers, be tenderhearted and humble.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/1pe.3.8.BSB
Romans 12:15 BSB
[15] Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.
https://bible.com/bible/3034/rom.12.15.BSB
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When Brothers Weep
Sorrow by Flickr User Daniel Waters, Co. Sligo, Ireland, CC License = Attribution
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Sadness and sorrow are strong emotions that can change moments, days, weeks, and longer parts of our lives. When the sorrow is generated by a painful situation involving someone we care about, it can affect everything from appetite to moving forward in our daily routines.
In today’s reading from Leviticus 10:16 through Leviticus 10:20 (the end of the chapter), we read about the effects of sorrow on Aaron and his remaining sons after two of his sons were killed for offering strange fire on God’s holy altar. I found it just a little harder to understand from the Complete Jewish Bible, so I recommend also reading from another version as well. Here’s a link to read today’s portion from The Amplified Bible…Leviticus 10:16-20.
So Moses is checking up on the rituals he has trained the new priests to perform, and he is concerned that he cannot find the meat from the sacrificial goat. The priests were supposed to eat the meat in a holy place as their portion of the sacrifice, but Moses discovers that they have burnt it up as waste instead. He asks them why they did things their own way instead of God’s way, and why the blood was not brought into the holy place as Moses commanded.
The response from Aaron is basically something along the lines of, “After what happened to the other two members of our family, we were all depressed and had no appetite.” And then he asks Moses if God would have been pleased with them if they had gone ahead and eaten in spite of what they had just been through. Upon seeing that perspective, Moses is pacified and understands the sorrow of the men.
I understand the pain of these brothers and father too. When I see a perspective that shows me the sorrow of others, I have to fight feeling sorrow myself–even for something as far back as a story in the Old Testament. I cry so easily that I wept when I thought of my kitties going under anesthesia for being fixed and not having anyone there who could explain in kitty cat language what was happening to them. Today, when I heard the family members weeping for their relatives who were passengers on the lost Malaysian Airlines jet, I immediately felt their pain and began to cry. I am highly sensitive to the emotions of others, and that can be both a good and bad thing at times.
While the brothers and father in our Bible story were experiencing common mourning, what I have described about myself is a bit less common. There is a great article (lens) on “Squidoo” that describes it perfectly. It’s called The Empath Within–Are You A Highly Sensitive Person, and it explains what it means to be empathic rather than just empathetic. It helped me to understand why something like a trip to Walmart can make me feel so emotionally drained, and it has to do with the sensations I feel from the huge mix of emotions there. I highly recommend the article.
So, why am I tying the sorrow of today’s story to my own empathic spirit? Because it’s a great segue to explain to my readers why the world sometimes feels like too much for you to bear. If you’re like me, when there’s a lot of pain around you, it makes it hard to complete even basic tasks. You’ll understand if you click on the article above, and you’ll even get a bit of a better understanding of me as a person.
Of course, the hardest thing of all is feeling stuff the rest of the world either doesn’t feel or won’t admit to, or maybe feeling things differently than the rest of the world thinks I should feel them. For example, while I am hurting over my nephew who is still not waking up, I feel more sadness for some of my Facebook friends who are battling cancer because I know they did not bring it onto themselves. Yes, I want Joshua to be healed, but if I had to choose only one person to receive a miracle, I would hand it to my friend, Judy Sliger, who is at the end of anything doctors can do in her battle with ovarian cancer. That brings its own kind of pain because I want to take on everything for everyone, but no one other than Our Savior was ever built for that task, so I’m left with fighting guilt.
I will ask you, my lovely readers, to continue to pray for my nephew. I ask above all else that you pray for God’s most perfect will to be done, and that you pray for God to be glorified in the situation. I would love to know that God is somewhere with him in that comatose state, and that he will wake up as a servant of God who is ready to tell the whole world about it. And I also ask you to pray for the many on my heart for the cancers and sicknesses and pains they are going through.
I will end today’s post with this: Judy is one I have known and met as we worked together to plan the Kentucky Christian Writer’s Conference some years back. She has written a book about her struggle with cancer. So, if you want to support her, or if you know anyone else who is fighting a terminal condition, I encourage you to consider purchasing her book. You can visit by clicking on this title… Take Heart: Prayers for the Terminally Ill. (This is a direct link to the paperback with no affiliate link embedded.) Thank you, and may your days ahead be blessed with more positive emotions than negative ones, and more and more of God’s presence as you continuously draw nearer to Him.
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March 19, 2014 Posted by Crystal A Murray (aka CrystalWriter) | Bible Study, Nonfiction, Torah Commentary | Aaron, Adonai, Almighty, Bible, Bible Gateway, Bible reading, Bible study, Complete Jewish Bible, Creator, crystalwriter, empath, empathy, God, high priest, Holy Bible, Leviticus, Lord, Moses, mourning, obedience, offerings, Old Covenant, Old Testament, Parashah, Portions, priests, sacrifices, sadness, Scripture, sorrow, terminal illness, The Complete Jewish Bible, Torah, Torah commentary, Torah Portions, Torah Reading, Word, Word of God, Word of the Lord, www.biblegateway.com, Yahveh, Yahweh | 5 Comments