🎵🎬 Cliché Month: The Elephant in the Room
We’ve all been there: Gathered for a group dinner or party when that relative or friend walks through the door, dramatically sporting a new look. Maybe it’s a huge new tattoo, a noticeable facial piercing, a vibrant shock of wild neon hair, or maybe it’s a new relationship partner that no one saw coming.
Instantly, the conversation stumbles. There is a collective hush followed by a palpable second of silent checking and cross-referencing. Everyone’s gaze darts around the table, evaluating reactions without actually sharing an opinion—positive or negative—out of deep social fear that someone else in the room will disagree. The collective breath is held… and that’s when it arrives.
In that exact moment of shared paralysis, no one is just sitting at a dinner table anymore. Everyone is living out a classic, textbook example of The Elephant in the Room.
(That’s usually when everyone quits playing their White Elephant game for a while—though don’t worry, we’ll untangle that particular tradition in a bit!)
Where Did the Pachyderm Come From?
First, how did a giant mammal end up sitting on our living room furniture in the first place? 🐘
The core concept actually stretches back to an 1814 fable by Russian poet Ivan Krylov called The Inquisitive Man, which told of a museum visitor who noticed every tiny beetle and fly, but completely overlooked a massive, live elephant walking among the exhibits.
Later in 1882, Mark Twain adapted that same image for American readers in his short story Mrs. McWilliams and the Lightning, writing that an obvious truth was “as plain as an elephant in a house.”
Yet, the exact, modern phrase we use today—“the elephant in the room”—didn’t officially become a regular part of our language until the mid-20th century, first appearing in newspapers like The New York Times in 1952 before exploding into popular psychology in the 1980s as a way to talk about unaddressed family secrets. We humans, it seems, have spent over two centuries perfecting the art of ignoring the obvious!
The Psychology of Silence
The defining characteristic of an “elephant in the room” isn’t that the issue is hidden or subtle. It is the exact opposite: the issue is so glaringly obvious that everyone is aware of it. Yet, an invisible social contract keeps everyone tight-lipped.
Why do we do this? Usually, it comes from a mix of social conditioning, a fear of creating conflict, or simply waiting for someone else to speak up first. We convince ourselves that ignoring the massive problem makes it go away and hide, when in reality, the pressure to look at it only builds.
The funny thing about naming the elephant is that once someone finally has the courage to say, “So… are we going to talk about this?”, the collective sigh of relief in the room is almost deafening. Light replaces tension, and everyone can finally breathe again.
Speaking of Unwanted Elephants…
Since we’re on the subject of giant, awkward things in the room, let’s talk about a related pachyderm phrase that hits close to home—especially for those of us in writer’s groups or holiday parties that host a annual White Elephant Gift Exchange like we do in my local LCW group!
Have you ever wondered where that term came from? The history is surprisingly brilliant (and a bit petty).
Legend has it that in ancient Siam (modern-day Thailand), rare albino elephants were considered sacred royal property. Because they were sacred, they couldn’t be put to actual labor. If a noble or royal official displeased the King, the monarch would reportedly bestow a magnificent White Elephant upon them as a “gift.”
On paper, it looked like a high honor. In reality? Feeding, housing, and maintaining a non-working, giant, sacred beast was so astronomically expensive that the gift would completely ruin the recipient financially! It was a passive-aggressive masterpiece: a gift that was far more trouble and expense than it was worth, and one you couldn’t possibly get rid of.
Today, we’ve repurposed that royal headache into a fun holiday tradition where we swap quirky, useless, or eccentric items—hoping to pass off our own “white elephants” to a willing friend. And when we add “stealing” to the mix, it becomes quite comedic to watch the few really good gifts make their way into many hands before their final homes are decided.
Honoring the Real Giants
Since August 12th is World Elephant Day, it’s worth stepping away from our human idioms for a moment to celebrate the real animals behind these two (and more) proverbs. Elephants are extraordinary creatures. They are deeply empathetic, protective of their herds, and blessed with incredible long-term memories that keep their families safe through changing landscapes.
Truthfully, the only thing that makes a proverbial elephant in the room anything like the real thing is sheer size. They are certainly more majestic than most of the subjects we may be trying to avoid. So, I guess a way we can honor them as more than just large creatures is to become bigger (metaphorically) like they are and just stampede right over our fears of telling the truth. Directness paired with grace is always the best path forward. Let’s talk about the elephant in the room, or maybe just watch this clip from Hatari with adorable baby elephants and the fun Henry Mancini orchestration of “The Baby Elephant Walk” song:
Lots of help from Gemini on this one, so here’s a shout of thanks for the helpful collaboration. And one final bit of fun, can you tell whether this elephant is real or not?
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🎵The Artist and The Artisan
Have you ever wondered the difference in these two words? (Artist and Artisan?) When I did a search for the differences, I expected simple definitions, but apparently, there are a lot of people who think about this, so there were lots of sites and answers out there.
My query followed some Bible study from a Torah portion in the book of Exodus and chapter 35. It’s all about the creation and building of the wilderness tabernacle, and this portion details the gifted creators who contributed to both the beauty and the function of this place of worship. Here are a few verses from The Complete Jewish Bible...
Sh'mot (Exo) 35:31-33 CJB
[31] He has filled him with the Spirit of God — with wisdom, understanding and knowledge concerning every kind of artisanry. [32] He is a master of design in gold, silver, bronze, [33] cutting precious stones to be set, woodcarving and every other craft.
https://bible.com/bible/1275/exo.35.31-33.CJB
The basic difference is in the use of the objects designed by either artist or artisan. I am far more artist than artisan because I create for viewing enjoyment rather than utilitarian purposes. One site says an artist is a creative soul who uses both skill and imagination, and an artisan is a professional craftsman who uses their expertise to create functional objects. Another site gave a good example by comparing a cake decorator with a cake baker. So neither artist nor artisan is better, and function works well with presentation if the two work together.
For the picture above, I asked Wombo to show two children playing with blocks and have one painting and the other carving. I like how it added the intricately carved blocks for the child painter, and both of them are having fun in their individual pursuits. And I wonder if the environment around the tabernacle was like the two kiddos. God gave different people gifts based on what they should contribute to the building, and one of them was skilled at almost everything. Another one, God gave the ability to teach skills to others. All of them together created a wonderful place to meet with, and worship, The Holy Creator and Lord. What a great, and still utilitarian, purpose for creativity and wisdom.
As an FYI for you, if you read all about this building, you’ll get to those descriptions about tanned ram skins and fine leather. I haven’t done the research myself, but I once heard a message about those skins and the leather not looking very good, especially when compared to the purple, blue, scarlet, and gold on the inside of the tabernacle. The message was called “The Beauty of The Ugly” and it was all about how our greatest beauty is on the inside where the presence of God dwells. The preacher said that if people came up from the outside, they’d see these red skins and smell the burning hair and flesh from the altar, and it wouldn’t have attracted them much. Oh, but if they stayed until they could pull the flaps back and look inside… Gold and beauty like you’ve never seen!
Our Creator is both artist and artisan. He has designed beautiful things that have yet to even enter into the imaginations of mankind. If we see hard things in this life that make living on Earth, or serving The Creator, seem like that view from outside the tabernacle, we just have to wait for Him to pull back the flap to show us what’s inside. What a wonderful hope and thought to know He has so much prepared beyond anything we can even conceive—no matter how much of an artist or artisan we are. 🎨
1 Corinthians 2:9 CSB
[9] But as it is written, What no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no human heart has conceived — God has prepared these things for those who love him.
https://bible.com/bible/1713/1co.2.9.CSB
And this seems to be the perfect time to use the song “I Can Only Imagine” by Mercy Me.
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Hart and Sole
I’ll admit it, I’m a word nerd. And since we’re still in heart month, I’ll go so far as to say, “I love words.” My mom had creative ways of dealing with boredom when my sister and I were kids, and one of those ways was to have a competition between the 3 of us to see who could come up with the most homophones.
In case you’re not familiar with it, here’s the definition of homophone from Merriam Webster: Homophones are words that sound the same but are different in meaning or spelling (such as sea and see). View the full article about homophones vs homonyms vs homographs at https://www.merriam-webster.com/grammar/homophones-vs-homographs-vs-homonyms
You’ve probably figured out that I won a lot of those competitions. But I’m glad we had them because I am clear about differences between the use of two, too, and to; there, their, and they’re; and about 300 more sets of sound-alike words. It’s too bad that most spell-check programs don’t know those differences because word nerds like me see those misuses like glaring red noses on Santa’s favorite reindeer. Though the one that gets me most isn’t even a homophone; it’s loose (as in loose change) being used for lose (as in don’t lose the money). I understand English can be hard, though, because most words with that “ooze” sound have 2 O’s. But here’s a sentence that will really mess with your “spell it like it sounds” lessons: “If you choose to snooze, your boss could blow a fuse, you could lose your job, and you won’t be able to go on the company cruise.” 🤯🙃
The picture I had Wombo Dream make for today is using hart (another name for a deer) and sole (fish) in place of the idiom “heart and soul.” I decided to put the 2 critters under a heart-shaped moon to keep with my February theme. And then I added a fantasy frame in my Photo Studio Pro app. Here’s the other one I made with Bing image creator added to the same frame, but I forgot to ask for the heart element…
I’ll close this fun subject out with a quick list of homophones that start with the letter “H” as in hart and “S” as in sole:
Ha, Haw
Hail, Hale
Hair, Hare
Hall, Haul
Halve, Have
Hart, Heart
Haughty, Hottie
Hawk, Hock
Hay, Hey
Hays, Haze
Hear, Here
Heard, Herd
Hecks, Hex
He’d, Heed
He’ll, Heal, Heel
Hem, Him, Hymn
Hence, Hints
Heroin, Heroine
Hertz, Hurts
Hew, Hue
Hi, Hie, High
Hic, Hick
Hide, Hied
Higher, Hire
Ho, Hoe
Hoarse, Horse
Hoes, Hose
Hold, Holed
Hole, Whole
Hour, Our
Sachet, Sashay
Sacks, Sax
Sail, Sale
Scene, Seen
Seam, Seem
Send, Sinned
Serge, Surge
Sew, So, Sow
Sewer, Suer
Sewn, Sown
Shear, Sheer
Shew, Shoe, Shoo
Sic, Sick
Sicks, Six
Side, Sighed
Sign, Sine
Sink, Sync
Skee, Ski
Slaughter, Slotter
Slay, Sleigh
Sleight, Slight
Soar, Sore
Sold, Soled
Sole, Soul
Some, Sum
Son, Sun
Sordid, Sorted
Sot, Sought
Spade, Spayed
Staid, Stayed
Stair, Stare
Stake, Steak
Stalk, Stock
Steal, Steel
Stile, Style
Straight, Strait
Suede, Swayed
Suet, Sweat
Suite, Sweet
Note: I’ve never tried columns in WordPress before, and I’m not really sure it worked. I see 2 columns in the draft but not on the preview. I think my classic theme isn’t accepting the blocks, but maybe readers see them. I’m still learning, though. Thanks for understanding.
Anyway, drop me a comment with some of your favorite words or your pet peeves about the misuse of words. And save these lists for your own memory banks for the next time you play any word games. I can attach the full homophone list by request.
P.S. I do not want to ignore the greatest of all words, that is YahShua (Jesus), The Word Made Flesh who wants each of us to know Him better. So here are a few Scripture verses about The King of Kings, Lord of Lords, and Word of Words…
Romans 10:17 WEBUS
[17] So faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
https://bible.com/bible/206/rom.10.17.WEBUS
Psalms 119:105 WEBUS
[105] Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path.
https://bible.com/bible/206/psa.119.105.WEBUS
Revelation 19:12-13 WEBUS
[12] His eyes are a flame of fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has names written and a name written which no one knows but he himself. [13] He is clothed in a garment sprinkled with blood. His name is called “The Word of God.”
https://bible.com/bible/206/rev.19.12-13.WEBUS
John 1:1, 14 KJV
[1] In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
[14] And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.
https://bible.com/bible/1/jhn.1.1-14.KJV
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