Crystal Writes A Blog

🎭How The West Was Lost—Or, Pure As The Driven Smog (Part 2)

Behind the Curtains

Okay, so maybe the Aquarius Rising Theater didn’t have curtains, but we definitely had a backstage area where all the stress went to play before the play. It’s in that area where one realizes exactly how much work goes into play acting.

I promised you yesterday that I’d introduce you to the powerhouse woman who made all the difference in my stage presence. This castmate was both an actress and a stunt woman, and she had a commanding influence as a trainer behind the scenes. The actress was Spice Williams-Crosby, whom you may have seen play a saloon girl in The Cherokee Kid with Sinbad or the Klingon Vixis in Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. If you want to learn more about Spice and her super health conscious endeavors that make me think she is still just as powerful now as then, check her official website.

Since I was only 16 or 17, I don’t recall if Spice was actually an official director or not, but she definitely directed me and others to pull off a truly great performance. She took our little production as seriously as if it were a high-paying, top Hollywood release. By the end of her training, I knew how to speak and act like a New York newspaper boy, a little orphan girl, and an old Indian woman.

Seven Costume Changes and One Tired Teenager

That newspaper boy had more than one headline to sell, and in between those sales, three little orphan girls had to show up in tattered clothing and then change to more appropriate sleepwear. The fun Irish nanny taught us to have hope for tomorrow with a little song that went something like:

Some fine day when my ship comes in, 
I won't care about, never think about, 
What my life has been. 
I'll have chicken every Sunday, 
Never go to work on Monday, 
When my ship comes in. 

That was the chorus, and I know the verse had the line, “I’ll live the life of Riley, hip hooray” in it, but I can’t recall the rest.

Wild, Wild Mabel

For some reason, though, I can recall all the words and the tune for a song I didn’t sing myself, and that’s the song Wild, Wild Mabel that was sung by Spice.

(Chorus)
Wild, wild Mabel, 
Wild, wild Mabel. 
There's never been a man who was able
To tame her. 
Meaner than a lion, she could scratch and claw. 
With a red hot trigger and fast on the draw, 
Yes Wild, Wild Mabel was her name. 

(Verse--partly spoken) 
(Speak)
On a cold dark night, 
Back in 74,
Mabel went out 
To settle a score
(Sing) 
With a tall dark stranger who was known as Dangerous Dan. 
(Speak) 
A shot was fired, 
And the silence was broken, 
The door swung open, 
With the gun still smokin'. 
(Sing)
Yes, Wild, Wild Mabel got her man.

(Repeat chorus) 
Wild, wild Mabel, 
Wild, wild Mabel. 
There's never been a man who was able
To tame her. 
Meaner than a lion, she could scratch and claw. 
With a red hot trigger and fast on the draw, 
Yes Wild, Wild Mabel was her name. 

When I shared these lyrics with Gemini to see if they exist anywhere online, I got a little history lesson about an embedded joke in the lyrics. Gemini says, “That is a direct, hilarious nod to ‘The Shooting of Dan McGrew,’ the famous 1907 Robert W. Service poem that practically defined the entire ‘Wild West saloon melodrama’ genre!”

It’s a very long poem, but it has some interesting history and alternate texts, so I recommend looking at its Wikipedia page for all the info, like the fact that Ronald Reagan and Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney did their own alternating recital of it.

Stay Tuned for Our Final Act: Part 3

While the orphans were getting ready for bed, the Irish nanny had some comedic surprises of her own as she sang to us about failing at being a “Shoplifters Daughter,” and then walked to the corner of the room to sing the ultimate guilt-trip torch song, “Tears on My Pillow.”

You won’t find these lyrics anywhere else on the internet (or if you do, please tell me where), so make sure to check back tomorrow for the grand finale of this fun journey down my memory lane.

July 7, 2026 Posted by Crystal A Murray (aka CrystalWriter) | AI, AI Image Creations, Creativity, Gemini (by Google), Humor, Lyrics and Song, memories, Nonfiction, Photo Studio Pro app, Reviews, Slice of Life | 1980s, acting, Aquarius Rising, Gemini, How the West was Lost, memories, repertory theater, small theater, song lyrics | 1 Comment