When God Plans a Meet Cute
We can’t see the picture God is working on above because our view is only of all the messy strings below. Corrie Ten Boom often spoke this thought from a beautiful poem written by Grant Colfax Tuller (1869-1950). I’ll add the poem, called The Weaver, at the end. But for now, I want to tell you about one of my strings and why I celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 12th every year.
In the winter of 1990, the photography studio I traveled with had me in Wisconsin during an arctic cold I’ll never forget. 30+ below zero with wind chills that brought that down to 80 below. Yikes! When I got back to Arizona for Christmas, I was ready to quit the road job and stay where it was much warmer. Alas, they called me at the end of January and said they needed an emergency rep on a red eye to Massachusetts because two other proof consultants had walked off the job. So, with no sleep, I headed to Las Vegas to grab a flight. I didn’t know I was flying to a destiny far different than what I had envisioned for my life.
I was alone at first, but then Linda arrived. We clicked right away and each saw the Spirit of God in the other. Within hours, she told me about a Christian man she knew who was 34 years old and had never been married. Her words: You two would be perfect for each other.
On February 12th, she called him from her room and then put me on the phone with him. We ended up talking for 2 hours, and he grabbed my heart by saying, “I’ll be honest. I’m looking for a serious relationship. But if that doesn’t happen between us, I want to stay friends because I already like you a lot.” Was that the bait or the hook? Lol! 🪝
I was living in the clouds for the next two days excited about when we would talk again. This time, I called him from my room, and it was an even longer conversation. But it started out with my telling him Happy Valentine’s Day since it was the 14th. His response was the reel that wound me into his life for 35+ years now. He said, “No, MY Valentine’s Day was two days ago.” Hook set, no wiggling off of that line for me.
So, today was our 36th Valentine’s Day on February 12th. My Kentuckiana life with my Kentucky soldier husband has been filled with real life moments that have included both blessings and trials, but the overall story has been blessings. But I’m jumping ahead, so I’ll say goodnight from here, and I hope some readers are inspired or encouraged by our meet cute from long ago. 💞
And here’s that poem I promised…
The Weaver (aka The Tapestry Poem or Life is But a Weaving)
My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily.
Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.
Not ’til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.
He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him."
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What is Your Treasure?
In this heart health month, it’s also a great time to check up on the health of your spiritual heart since it spills over into your physical heart and life. “Doctor Jesus” gives us the perfect prescription for great heart health.
Matthew 6:19-21 WEBUS
[19] “Don’t lay up treasures for yourselves on the earth, where moth and rust consume, and where thieves break through and steal; [20] but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consume, and where thieves don’t break through and steal; [21] for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
https://bible.com/bible/206/mat.6.19-21.WEBUS
And since it is also National Haiku Writing Month (NaHaiWriMo), here’s a set of haiku verses I put together for this occasion.
Treasure Hunter
Where your treasure is...
Your heart will oversee it,
And protect it well.
Because your heart knows...
The value of your treasures,
Though no one else sees.
It will keep your dreams,
And remind you of them...
Just when you need hope.
So be careful then,
To treasure things with value,
Fill your heart with God.
And that’s it for this one. I’d love to see some haiku from readers in the comment box.
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It is No Secret, or Is It?
When I was a little girl, my mom loved her music, and she had a lot of albums by Wayne Newton. One of my favorites was his gospel album with Church in the Wildwood, The Old Rugged Cross, and other traditional hymns. I sang with each of them, but mostly with the song, It is No Secret (What God Can Do). This video sounds exactly like what I remember:
As I got older, it began to feel like the things God could do were secrets, at least from me. I wondered where He was on the nights of drunkenness and violence that eventually resulted in social workers and foster homes for my sister and I. She ended up back at home, and I ended up living with my grandparents in another city. We both watched our mom ride a rollercoaster of efforts to get life right while everyone gave her different answers for how to do it.
One day, while writing in a poetry class in the group home I was in, I recall telling God in a poem how I just didn’t understand Him, or why things had to be the way they were. I concluded by writing that I wasn’t going to try anymore. It was partly giving up and partly pleading for understanding. Thankfully, God read it as a prayer that He eventually answered when I was ready.
Proverbs 25:2 says,
[2] It is the glory of God to conceal a thing, but the glory of kings is to search out a matter.
https://bible.com/bible/206/pro.25.2.WEBUS
And then we have the Psalm in the image above reminding us that God’s wisdom is hidden from those who do not fear (respect) Him.
So, really, the secret is not one that is withheld from anyone who truly seeks Him with all their heart and soul, but it is hidden from those who don’t think it’s worth enough to dig for. Like a vein of pure gold in a rock or stream, or a cache of diamonds in the depths of a mountain of coal, God’s wisdom is an extreme value waiting to be mined. I don’t desire gold or jewels enough to take the risks associated with mining, but I do value God’s pure and holy truths enough to keep on asking, keep on seeking, and keep on knocking (see Matthew 7:7) until I find answers. Will you go mining with me?
⛏️📖⛏️
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Look and See How Good it Can Be
When I worshipped in a Messianic congregation, one of my favorite songs to learn was called Hineh Ma Tov. It was built on words from this verse in Psalm 133:1.
Psalms 133:1 WEBUS
[1] See how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to live together in unity!
https://bible.com/bible/206/psa.133.1.WEBUS
So what happens when people do not live together in unity? My suggested emoji after that sentence was a sad, crying emoji like this 😭. But my last word was unity, and I didn’t say anything in the sentence that could lead my keyboard to think I was talking about something sad. Right? Or is even a keyboard smarter than many humans to know the end result of refusing to look for unity?
But I digress; I was only going to talk about the not-so-pleasant and not-so-wonderful effects of division. Chaos, anger, and jealousy, are just a few of the effects that go with not being on the same page. But THAT is really the problem. No ONE page that everyone can stand on together to allow the unity. Unity without a foundation is simply an illusion.
When the psalmist speaks in this chapter, the pleasant things he describes include the oil dripping from Aaron’s beard. That is pleasant to him because that oil is from a time of anointing to do priestly works for God Almighty. The priesthood was originally created and ordained by Yahveh as part of His mercy and grace to cover the sins of mankind. And if the priest was being ordained, it meant the law was being followed.
Law is a blessing! Think of this: When you’re in a hurry to get somewhere, and you have a green light, the law that makes cross traffic stop and let you through will benefit you more than chaos at the intersection. But all it takes is one person who spurns the law and wants to do things their own way to mess up everyone’s day.
God put law in our hearts, and all it took was one evil tempter challenging God’s way of doing things to create chaos for every human for the rest of time. At least until time stops counting because we move into eternity. So what would happen if all of mankind decided to look and see how good it would be to follow God’s way? We would be in unity, and behold how wonderful and pleasant it would be.
And here’s a video and lyrics with Paul Wilbur singing Hineh Ma Tov…
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Strong Enough to Grieve
Temporary! That word carries both comfort and terror. Knowing that suffering will come to an end is comforting. Knowing the pain of loss when the end comes is terrifying.
Today marks 11 years since I said goodbye to my mom for the last time. It was bittersweet because of the healing that took place between us in her final days and hours. I wanted to let her go because I didn’t want her to suffer, but I didn’t want to let her go because I finally felt like I had a mom. Both the healing and the loss changed my life in more ways than I can count.
Anyone who was reading my blog knows that I pretty much stopped writing regularly after her passing. And then more losses and pain followed in the years after that made it hard to come back. But now that I’m here, and on this death anniversary, I want to focus on the good that God provides to comfort us in a life we have little control over. One bit of comfort is in that unseen eternity that carries more hope than anything in this world could ever provide. It’s a hope that my mom is there, in the Presence of our Creator and Lord, and enjoying every pain-free moment with Him. It’s a hope that I will see her again one day. And, it’s a hope that my own eternity will be filled with all the Love and Light that is God Almighty Himself. Those unseen hopes can carry a person through many troubles in this temporary life.
So, as I’ve been waxing poetic lately, I think it’s finally time to share the poem I feel God gave me shortly after my mom’s passing. I had been saving it to submit to a publisher, but maybe someone will stop by here who really needs to read it. Many have been brought to tears by the words in these verses, and I pray it blesses at least one someone out there.
STRONG ENOUGH TO GRIEVE
By Crystal A Murray (C) 2015 All Rights Reserved
No, you weren't the kind of mom that...
Fixed my lunches,
Made my bed,
Came to school functions,
Helped me study,
Or pushed me to graduate.
You didn't help me to...
Get ready for a prom,
Plan a perfect wedding,
Or prepare for a family.
See, we didn't have a storybook life.
Not even a sitcom, really.
Alcohol and mental illness,
Along with some bad "dads" in our home,
They stole hours and days.
They stole my childhood.
And yet, I loved you.
We finally became friends.
There were still many battles,
But I was old enough to stand.
And then we both got stronger.
The love of God changed our hearts.
And His grace changed our lives.
Old things went away... mostly.
But some damage was done.
Some scars would stay,
And even hurt at times.
You were better, but not always.
I was stronger yet often weak.
Oh, but I still loved you.
When the cancer came,
I was ready to fight in prayer,
But you said you were ready to go.
And so, I came to your side.
And that's when I learned...
You were still tormented.
You battled something oppressive that neither of us could see.
Much of what I took personally and hurt from
Wasn't about me.
But I had never known that.
It was all personal to me.
My hurts were so deep,
Healing seemed impossible,
And all my memories felt painful.
But then, a new friend prayed.
God sent her to both of us.
I had been strong enough...
To do what you needed,
To prepare for your death,
And to take care of business;
But I had not been strong enough to grieve.
After our friend prayed,
she taught us how to pray.
She showed us God's words that promised victory.
And then the peace came in.
You were delivered from your torment.
And I was set free to grieve.
I found memories of good times.
I sang you heaven songs--
Many I recalled from childhood.
And you rested.
I held your hand and felt new love for you;
Love not restricted and bound...
By years of pain,
By bad memories,
Or by guilt for my imperfections as a daughter.
Real, heartfelt love.
So, finally...
I grieved freely.
As your breath slowed,
As comfort took over pain,
And as God let me get some sleep, too.
You slipped away.
And I cried.
Now I remember the good.
And though it brings me sadness,
It also sets me free
because now...
I am strong enough to grieve.
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Psalm 12 Written in Haiku
I love writing haiku. It’s actually how I journal my day every night. It keeps me focused on short, rhythmic bursts of thought, and the meter is relaxing to me. I have learned about the “correct” use and meaning of haiku, with its nature words and less rigorous syllable count, but for the purposes of my haiku writing, I prefer to focus on the Americanized syllable structure (5-7-5) I learned back in elementary school.
Psalm 12 was the chapter used in my current Bible study called “The Full Story_____From the Beginning to the Amen” by The Bible Project. So here it is condensed into simple haiku verses.
A Psalm of David,
To the choir director.
A song of lament.
1.
I need Your help, Lord.
The loyal have disappeared,
From the human race.
2.
They all keep lying.;
Speaking with flattering lips,
And deceptive hearts.
3.
I'm praying to God,
To cut off the boastful tongues,
And the lying lips.
4.
They claim false power.
They reject God as Master.
And claim the control.
5.
But devastation,
Has caught God's attention, and...
He hears the groanings.
The poor and needy,
Cry out, and God rises up.
He provides safety.
6.
The Lord's words are pure.
They've been refined like silver.
Extra purified.
7.
You, Lord, will guard us.
You protect us forever,
From evil attacks.
8.
Though the wicked prowl,
And the human race exalts...
The worthless wicked.
See, I read this AND listened to it. But I didn’t really hear the pain in King David’s heart until I began to write the words myself. Now, I’m seeing him cry out in verse and begging God to see what men are doing to each other and fix it. I don’t know if he was king when he wrote this, but he obviously felt powerless to change things himself. His hopes were likely dashed because, not only were there wicked and evil men doing harm to each other, but the general populace were praising the wicked instead of holding them accountable.
Sadly, it sounds like much of the world right now. People take power that was never meant for mankind, like deciding what is good or evil based on their own desires, and they reject the wisdom of The One who created all life and wrote the owner’s manual. Our Creator chose how life would form in the womb when we were fearfully and wonderfully made. He even chose that life would form sometimes in less-than-ideal situations. But He asks us to trust that He knows best and has a plan for our good no matter what it looks like at that moment.
But after that life has begun to form, some people take the position of thinking that because they can control it, they should control it. They will snuff out that life because it doesn’t line up with what they think their future desires will be. And, they will find professionals to help them kill the innocent child because somehow, that murder helps their bottom line. And all the ignorant will celebrate the “freedom” obtained by the death without realizing the deeper bondage the death will bring to all who helped make it happen.
Proverbs 14;12 (WEB) says, “There is a way which seems right to a man, but in the end, it leads to death.” And that tells us how much we need to trust the wisdom in Proverbs 3:7-8 (WEB) “Don’t be wise in your own eyes. Fear Yahweh, and depart from evil. It will be health to your body, and nourishment to your bones.” Though the words in Proverbs are not promises, they are the more likely scenarios.
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